Regency Culture and Society: Table Manners

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Dining may be one of the most rigid exercises in etiquette, with many rules of decorum to keep in mind. Some of these maxims, from A Treatise on Politeness, etc (1813) authored by A Lady, may sound very familiar, indeed.

ON BEHAVIOUR AT TABLE When at table sit upright neither lean ing por lolling negligently Do pdt rรฉst your elbow on the table nor strike it against those who sit next you Do not stir your feet fiddle with your hands nor twirl and twist your head from side to side There is nothing more disgusting than to cough spit or blow your nose at table if you find the latter indispensable do it as quietly as you can and endeavour to avoid its being perceived Do not open your napkin not touch any dish till the master of the liouse has done so Do not seem impatient to cat nor survey any dish with the eye of an
epicure or glutton. Do not start at any of the company. When you help iany dish; take care to give the best parts to those you help; and do not be forward in offering to help, unless you have some degree of us thority in the house, except you are called upon to do so, or in a company where there is great familiarity. Whแป‡n: you carve, tako care to do it neatly and genteelly i and to รกvoid dirtying those who sit near you, beige splashing the sauce or gravy about: Whent you have company, do not press them to eat or drink, nor notice their doing so, ex* cept very slightly now and then, Let-your hospitality be displayed by an open cheerfulness, which leaves your guests at liberty, at the same time that it indicates the pleas sure you have in their company, ! When any thing is:cut and handed round the comi pany, if it happen to be offered to you be. fore it is offered to a person near you, who is your superior, you ought to decline it until they are serred, or present it yourself
as all to them, except it is offered you by the master or mistress of the house, in which case it is your part to accept it respectfully. Never reach your hand to any thing at a distance from you. It is a very unbecoming weakness to talk of your particular likings and dislikings; as, for example, โ€œI cannot eat that; I detest the smell of this ; I cannot eat any thing with pepper, nutmeg, onion, cinnamon, &c. &c." these aversions are merely imaginary, and could easily have been conquered in youth, and even at any time of life, time of life, if we were willing to subdue our appetites : we should therefore never expose ourselves by declaring these aversions. If you help yourself to a dish immediately before you, take the side next you, not extending your hand to the far side of the dish, nor ever stretching it to a dish beyond you. When you help yourself, do not take bit by bit, but help yourself moderately and properly at once. -. Do not eat fast nor greedily; do
not put a bit into your mouth till you have swallowed what you had taken before ; and never put a bit into your mouth so large as to occasion you any inconvenience. Do not bend over your plate, nor spill the sauce, nor drink on the cloth. Do not make a noise with your knife and fork, for that is a sort of signal which announces your gluttony and greediness to the company, who would, perhaps, not have observed it, had you not so announced it. Do not make a noise in chewing your meat, nor break nuts nor kernels with your teeth. In eating soup, pudding, &c. never blow it with your breath, but wait till it cools. Do not bite your bread. Never sit with your knife in your hand, nor put it to your mouth, but eat with your fork and spoon, and never with your knife. Never pick bones with your mouth, nor suck them, but cut the meat off with your knife and fork. Never take a bone in your fingers, as it leads to two or three indecencies; one'
wiping your fingers so often as to make the cloth or napkin as dirty as a kitchen rubber ; another, to lick your fingers, which is the height of indecency. Never soak your bread in your sauce or gravy. Never dip any thing you are to eat into the salt-seller, but take salt with the salt-ladle. Do not mix different kinds of meat on the same plate i por ever offer any thing you have tasted to another. Remember that nothing that has รพeen on your plate should ever be put back on the dish. When eating fruit, take the stones out of your mouth with your fingers, and never spit them out on your plate. If you sฤผould ever find yourself obliged to put any thing out of your mouth, take it out as delicately and carefully as you can, with your hand, put it on your plate, and then send your plate, away. When eating sweetmeแบกts, never wipe your plate with a bit of bread, nor seem anxious to swallow up the syrup that remains, nothing being more upbecoming and disgusting than any kind
of glattony. When eating butter, do not spread a large quantity on your bread at once, but cut or break your bread ลŸmall, ; and put a bit of butter on your bit of bread as you eat it. When you cut your bread, do not lay it on your plate, nor on the cloth; but hold it in your hand. During the repast, do not talk over eating in general, for such conversation is a certain indication of a sensual disposition, and a bad education. As it is unbecoming to eat greedily or voraciously, so it is ridiculous to be nice, and not eat a ลŸufficiency. You are not to call for winฤ™ till the master or mistress of the house has done so ; when the wine is on the table, never fill your glass; when you drink, always look down, and never drink with any thing in your mouth; when you drink, da not make a noise in swallowing and, in general, it is more polite to finish what is in your glass than to leave it. : Never:speak: with any thing in your mouth. Take care not to reprove your servants during meals.
If you are going to address any person, and he is drinking or going to drink at the moment, wait till he has drunk, and then to him. Never pick your teeth with a fork or a pin; nor rince your mouth, and spit the water back into the glass. Never attempt to rise from table till the master or mistress of the house rises.

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